Unselfish Love

Once, not very long ago, some one who loved me said, "Sometimes love is unselfish. Sometimes nothing is asked for in return.
Fact is, sometimes we are loved, because of who we are. Fact is, we all have endless amounts of love to give.''

Back then, my understanding of this kind of love was that, it was naive and stupid. Having been through the kind of love where you give & give and cease to see that you get nothing in return, the eternal closeted pessimist in me replied by saying," Not everyone is selfish and not everyone wants to take and return nothing...a feeling of guilt grows  and not everyone can deal with that. 

Not everyone realizes that they have endless amounts of love to give... but when they do, they can't 

believe it...and they know that not everyone deserves that love...so they hold it off...till they know it can 

come from a place deep within....in time...'' 

I tell you this now, that once upon a time some one loved me, like I love now. I might not have been ready then, but in time the optimist in me began to peek through the shadows again. 

That now, my love does come from a place deep within. I am not ashamed to say, that the eternal pessimist in me wins every now and then, but because I have received such giving love, I chose to still go on. 

It is painful, I must admit, to go on loving unselfishly, to give and give and stand my ground knowing that the other person cannot return the feelings in the same measure even if he tried. Knowing that he lacks the ability to see what love really does to a person. 

It eats away at the ability to say NO. To simply stop the other person from taking every last ounce of strength, esteem and courage you have. Handing the power over to some one who is almost careless.

Loving like that, is true selfless love. 

I have been loved the same and I am grateful for it, grateful to those who loved me like that, knowing that I didn't know back then how painful it can be to watch some one take your love and not give in return. 

I say thank you, because each day that I feel like quitting, each day that I want to be selfish and walk away from a love that feels like its taking my all, I think of those who loved me unconditionally. 

I see how it has come to change me as a person, of what I gained from it, and I now see how much it has helped me push through the walls. I now know that I am capable of making such a change in some one else's life by giving and giving and expecting nothing in return, because I love now, like some one loved me once...

PS - to those who've loved me like that, Thank you. To those whom I love now, I hope that one day you will carry it on and change some one else's life forever.