"You're an angry person..." he told her sitting across the room. He looked both hurt and bemused.
He sat there on a chair with a cloth to his face trying to let the water cool down his temples. He was sucking out the blood and shards of glass from his palms. The house was quiet now... the walls deserved some peace.
She was sobbing, soft sniffs, feet bare...her mascara stained cheeks were wet, she was shaking from shock, trying to hold herself together, sitting with her knees drawn unto her chest. She could feel the cold floor numbing her bottom, numbing her toes. She wished they would numb her anger and insecurity too. She could feel the temperature drop further in the room, she wasn't sure if it was the cold wind or him.
She wished the cold would engulf her, the room, engulf everything and freeze it over. Stop her emotions. Anger. Rage from the past that had led to more rage tonight. Bitter fury that had led to her losing grip tonight.
She prayed the cold would numb it all, stop time and skip it all... but it would come back. Stopping time only meant a delay in the inevitable...tonight was a lesson, time never heals...
'Yes', she thought to herself, 'maybe I am an angry person... after all this time of trying to "BE OKAY", bury my fears...after all the exhaustion of putting on a brave face I can begin to doubt myself again, my display of physical emotion tonight is proof.'
She looked at him and saw that he would never be able to read her depth. See in her eyes the world of pain that he had opened up tonight. He wouldn't understand that the rage came from a place that held nothing but fear, a fear of risking her trust again. A place she had hoped to never set foot on again...
And yet she had tried.
Only this time it hurt more... because she knew all too well...he could hurt her more. She had trusted in him much more ... loved him much more than any other.
And lest her fears come true, this time he would not only open her wounds, they would leave her cut up with no chance of her trying again.
She looked around the room, at all the damage she had caused, all the pain he had just reminded her of. All the doubt she had in him and more so in herself.
And yet again she tried.
"Im not an angry person..." she said softly without meeting his eyes, "I'm just scared".
