How do you decide whether some thing is worth your while or not?
The feeling I hate the most is when you have one foot on either side of that fine line...the one where you think the person is worth all that you are feeling and doing for them or not. The hate is for the one emotion that nags my every decision : Doubt.
Here's the thing, after a very long time... I feel like going out of my way to make note of the little things. To make time, to make that one person feel special...I'm not sure why.
It's not that the person isn't worth it, I'm just not sure why the wall around me is giving way. So if it is collapsing, does it mean that this person is worth it?
Some one on this very blog once asked me, "Trisha, what drives you to write like this?"
My answer to that was people and emotions...
And my point has been proven yet again.
Strong feelings for some one is the motivation behind these words strung together, all I'm trying to say is that, I am giving in. I am putting myself on the line and its coming to me naturally. I've fought very hard not to let any1 in for a long time and it's not working anymore. All the walls I've built, I can see crumbling down.
My doubt isn't about him, my doubt is about me. About why I am so affected by the little things that make this person happy or upset.
I'm scared. My feelings are getting way ahead of me, and I'm left catching up with them. Left behind to figure out when they got this strong.
Doubt, in myself and my will power. My ability to keep people out is not working anymore. You've made your way in, effortlessly. And I didn't realize when you took over.
PS - I am ready to take the risk.