I saw her pictures today; I knew I was insane to feel like this.
To feel betrayed and jealous. I never did expect anything from what we shared. I knew it wasn’t going anywhere, we never had time and I had accepted it. I knew all of this, except, when I saw her pictures today I also knew that I had fallen for him.
They looked happy, he looked happy. And I had been happy up until that moment.
For the first time in months…in months of not feeling anything, I felt hurt. Deeply hurt and alone… foolish: some would call it.
I too think it is foolish, but I didn’t see it coming… I knew about the ‘fools in love phase’ never thought I’d be one, never saw it coming.
I saw them together and wanted to curl up and cry…for the first time in months I let myself get carried away in my own head. But for the first time in months I am feeling. It feels good to feel something rather than all the nothing I was feeling…
I can accept that he is not mine…never was and no chances of ‘ever will be’. I can accept that we had our moment and it’s gone. I can accept that I feel miserable, because it feels good to be human again…it feels good to know that I can be hurt, that I haven’t cut off from emotions…well not entirely atleast…
